


Let Me Help You With That.

by QueenoftheHobbits



Series: Soft Thighs Series [14]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, F/M, overweight reader, plus size reader
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-12 16:23:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7113349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheHobbits/pseuds/QueenoftheHobbits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You struggled with your anxiety every day and every day Bucky just wanted to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Me Help You With That.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to suggest ideas for this series if you have any xx

Bucky knew what it was like, the perpetual irrational fear that clawed at you over the most menial tasks. Fear was something he knew far too well by this point. Fear was something he hated to see you experience every day because he knew there wasn’t much he could do, he couldn’t get rid of your anxiety, he couldn’t remove that part of you and so for weeks he watched you suffer, wondering why he was so bothered by someone, who was barely even his friend, struggling so much. And then he realised that he could help. He could do something. He wasn’t helpless...and then he realised he wanted to help. 

For you fear of ridiculous little things that you knew weren’t normal to fear was almost normal, it didn’t make it any easier. Your anxiety had stemmed from your childhood, being bullied and put down for your weight led to fears about speaking and being the centre of attention which led to a bubbling social anxiety that you struggled with even if you’d been getting better as you got older. You hated that someone putting you down as a child, that someone who made fun of the size of your stomach and the jiggle of your thighs was the reason you struggled so much and yet you couldn’t do anything about it and you didn’t tell anyone either. 

You thought it was ridiculous so chose not to tell the others, you knew Steve would almost instantly baby you which you didn’t want. You didn’t want babying, you just wanted help, and encouragement. Someone to make it less scary, but who would still push you to help you put the anxiety behind you...and surprisingly about a month after his first appearance at the Tower, Bucky Barnes happened to be the person to do that for you.

It was shocking, that this giant, incredibly intimidating at times, ex-assassin was the one who noticed almost straight away. He noticed the way you went incredibly quiet when buying items or telling a waiter your order, he noticed the way you fidgeted, or talked about doing something then backed out at the last second too scared to do so....and then he was the first one to actually do something about it as well. 

It started little; Bucky would walk with you and stand behind you while you bought something from a shop, or he’d offer to tell a waiter your order along with his...and then it grew and grew and grew. He’d go to a vending machine for you without even needing you to ask, he’d buy your tickets to the cinema, he’d hold your hand if you were struggling to get something out in a massive meeting with strange agents that you didn’t know. It was almost natural the way in which he did it. You didn’t noticed it all that much, you didn’t feel uncomfortable or awkward because of it, instead you felt relieved because he gave you the option, whether that was that he’d simply be there as a barrier and a support, or he’d do what you felt you couldn’t in that moment. 

The protectiveness Bucky felt for you grew as time went on and it extended past helping you with your anxiety, it extended into tackling the root cause of your anxiety, that being your self-consciousness over your weight, and then it extended into making sure everyone knew that one bad word about you would get them a kick to their teeth. The one time he’d overheard someone calling you nasty names because of your weight he’d almost put them into a coma...which you had had to talk to him about because you’d told him...he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t just break people because of the nasty things they said. So instead he made sure to be intimidating as possible and focused his energy of letting you know you were beautiful in little ways. Which was incredibly strange for you, and yet it quickly became part of your life and you were okay with that, because it made you more confident, and it made you less anxious even if it didn’t erase it completely. It made you feel beautiful even on the worst days when you usually felt anything but. 

Because Bucky would just touch your wide hips or your large waist and smile and you knew he was trying to communicated that those parts of you were okay, or he’d whisper little things in your ear as he got more comfortable with speaking about it...and then he’d cuddle with you and hold you and the very nature of your relationship changed because he stopped being a protector and became a friend and then he stopped being a friend and became an odd in between of friend and lover and then your anxiety was almost perpetually focused on that...because you didn’t want to assume anything and lose him, but you liked him a lot. He made you feel comfortable, he reminded you that your weight was more than okay, that you were beautiful, he reminded you that you weren’t alone in dealing with your problems...and despite struggling with his own he always made time for yours. 

Which is how you found yourself standing in front of him, hands twisting together nervously, your breaths coming out far too fast, and your chest hurting from the sheer force of your heart thumping in your chest. You were going to do this because you were willing to risk it...because the fear you felt yourself experiencing was worth going through if you could just tell him, just tell him that you didn’t mind waking up to help him with his nightmares, that you didn’t mind sitting there with him to help him sort through his thoughts, that you didn’t mind writing down things that have happened for him so that he knew he wasn’t dreaming, because you didn’t mind being there for him because he was always there for you and you couldn’t possibly love anyone more than him...because no one else in your entire life had been so dedicated to you and your well being even when they were struggling with their own. 

“B-Bucky...” You scrunched your eyes up in frustration at the stuttering that came out and just how quiet you sounded because you didn’t want to be so scared because this was Bucky. Bucky who helped you do so many normal things without laughing or judging you for your fears. Bucky who reminded you that the breadth of your waist wasn’t a problem, that the rolls of fat on your stomach weren’t a problem, that every part of you was good and great and that there wasn’t anything wrong with how you looked or who you were. You shouldn’t feel this sort of anxiety around Bucky...because it was Bucky. 

“What’s wrong, doll?” He was worried now, because you were obviously struggling. There was the fear that you were going to have a panic attack again and he hated when you had those and then there was the fear that he’d done something or someone else had done something really bad and he wanted to throw himself at you and hold you close, but he wasn’t sure if that would cause you more of a problem. 

“I...I...” You let out a frustrated sound and almost wanted to cry because why couldn’t you just get the words out, you just wanted to get the words out!

Bucky moved forward, hands coming to rest on your soft shoulders looking down at you worried, “Hey, hey...it’s okay, you’ll get there, okay? Just breathe, doll, just breathe...” So you did, you breathed trying to let the frustration go and trying to let some of the fear go so that you could say the words you wanted to say. 

“Bucky-” You took another deep breath trying not to look in his eyes knowing that you’d struggle, even more so when his hands slipped from your shoulders down to your soft waist. “I really really like you. I...I think I love you...and i’m scared, but I had to tell you.” You don’t look up at him, focusing your eyes instead on the dip where his sternum and clavicle meet, focusing on that little patch because you were too scared to see how he would react. 

“Hey...” A cold, metal hand comes up under your chin lifting your head to look up at him and he’s smiling and he’s so gentle...because he’s wanted to hear that for weeks and he knows how scared you must be because he’s scared too. But it’s a good kind of scared. “I think I love you too...can I kiss you?” You’re still looking at him and you’re still scared, but it’s different now and it’s the type of anxiety that comes before something exciting rather than terrifying and you don’t even think before you’re nodding carefully, blinking in disbelief.

And it’s so gentle the way Bucky cups your jaw and pulls you towards him, slotting his mouth against yours, and it’s gentle going on passionate as his mouth covers yours and moves against it. You find your shaking hands running up his arms and drifting into his dark hair, fingers pulling lightly at the strands, while his own have drifted to your hips, kneading and moulding at the soft skin and flesh there that he could grip properly with his hands. You don’t want it to stop, but it does and you find yourself staring into his eyes again and this time you are not scared at all because he’s always there to help you and he’s helping you with this too. 


End file.
